Everybody Fights

So Why Not Get Better at It?

by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness

On Sale: 2021-03-30

Price: $26.99

Book Summary

Internet video sensations and podcast hosts Penn and Kim Holderness share how they fight better and end arguments feeling closer, more loved, and better understood by their partner.

About the Book

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller

Learn how to fight better and end arguments feeling closer, more loved, and better understood by your partner. 

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. 

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

  • use “magic words” to navigate conflict
  • break free of secret contracts
  • banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay
  • carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs 

Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.


'In this reassuring debut, married couple Kim and Penn Holderness, hosts of The Holderness Family Podcast, share examples from their 'fight fails' and strategies for fighting less frequently and having a happier marriage. The Holdernesses emphasize that, while they are not trained to address serious issues like infidelity, addiction, or mental illness, they can offer tools for couples who struggle with feeling misunderstood or lack communication skills, but who are willing to learn. . . These engaging tools and conversation-based exercises for couples will provide a great starting point for strengthening communication.'

Product Details

  • ISBN: 9780785235729
  • ISBN 10: 0785235728
  • Imprint: Thomas Nelson
  • On Sale: 2021-03-30
  • Pages: 256
  • List Price: $26.99
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson
  • Publication Date: 2021-03-30
  • Trim Size: 160.000mm x 236.000mm x 24.000mm
  • Weight: 398.000gr
  • Category 1 : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Marriage & Long Term Relationships
  • Category 2 : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Conflict Resolution
  • Category 3 : RELIGION / Christian Life / Love & Marriage
  • Category 4 : SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness
  • Category 5 : SELF-HELP / Communication & Social Skills