Everybody Fights

So Why Not Get Better at It?

by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness

On Sale: 2021-03-30

Book Summary

Internet video sensations and podcast hosts Penn and Kim Holderness share how they fight better and end arguments feeling closer, more loved, and better understood by their partner.

About the Book

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller!

Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:

  • Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolution
  • Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations
  • Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delay
  • Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs

Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!


'In this reassuring debut, married couple Kim and Penn Holderness, hosts of The Holderness Family Podcast, share examples from their 'fight fails' and strategies for fighting less frequently and having a happier marriage. The Holdernesses emphasize that, while they are not trained to address serious issues like infidelity, addiction, or mental illness, they can offer tools for couples who struggle with feeling misunderstood or lack communication skills, but who are willing to learn. . . These engaging tools and conversation-based exercises for couples will provide a great starting point for strengthening communication.'

Product Details

  • Imprint: Thomas Nelson
  • On Sale: 2021-03-30
  • Pages: 256
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson
  • Publication Date: 2021-03-30
  • Trim Size: 160.000mm x 236.000mm x 24.000mm
  • Weight: 398.000gr
  • Category 1 : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Marriage & Long Term Relationships
  • Category 2 : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Conflict Resolution
  • Category 3 : RELIGION / Christian Life / Love & Marriage
  • Category 4 : SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness
  • Category 5 : SELF-HELP / Communication & Social Skills